I See No Stain On You, My Child

I woke up this morning singing a powerful line from a favorite song, My Beloved, by Kari Jobe. "I see no stain on you, my child." When He washes us, we are clean.  Simply put. I am clean. If only I could get it out of my head and into my heart. He has covered me, my mistakes and even my misgivings. I am clean. And then there's the singing over me. Isn't it a wonder, this love of our God? He sings over us with delight; with songs of peace. Peace. As I live and breath, I inhale His peace. I rest in Him. I rest in you, Lord. I am your beloved and you are mine.


You're my beloved, you're my bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my love

Under my mercy come and wait
Till we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you my child

You're beautiful to me
So beautiful to me

I sing over you my song of peace
Cast all your care down at my feet
Come and find your rest in me

I'll breathe my life inside of you
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings
And hide you in the shadow of my strength

I'll take you to my quiet waters
I'll restore your soul
Come rest in me and be made whole

You're my beloved, you're my bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my love


Kari Jobe - My Beloved

Mama said...

Despite her Having Fun shirt in one of the most FUN places (Dollywood, 2006),
Grace was not happy about having her picture taken.

Mama said there'll be days like this...some days are just harder than others. You just get back up, dust yourself off & keep on going. Yes, mama said there'll be days like this.

Rough day.  It began before I got out of bed with this horrible dream where it was all my fault.  Then off to work.  My job is great in so many ways, but some days, I work hard for the money. This was one of those days. Drama practice (for real) was great, but then we got tangled up at the library.  With some tears & then hugs, we headed to the pool because water play helps crabby apple pants marshmallow sweetie pies find their smiles again. We unexpectedly intersected by friends who were delighted to see us & pleaded to take Gracie cakes to play. Even better!! Nothing makes you feel better than three giggly girlfriends begging you to come play. That makes a mama feel better, too. So, they played & mom had some time to catch up on some needful things for an hour or so. 

It got even better. Mom had some chat time with the sweet mother of the squealy girls. =) I needed that. I really needed that fresh perspective & voice of faith that reminded me that God is a very present help in time of need. Breathing easier...no more crabbies. 

We got home just in time to read a few verses from Gracie's new bible. Here's what she found: But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.  They will soar high on wings like eagles.  They will run & not grow weary.  They will walk & not faint. Isaiah 40:31

That's encouraging!

This is what I read: But as for you, Israel (Carmen & Gracie), my servant, Jacob (Carmen & Gracie) my chosen one descended from Abraham my friend; I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying, "You are my servant."  For I have chose you & will not throw you away.  Don't be afraid, for I am with you.  Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you & help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Now that's REALLY encouraging! 

Mama said there'll be days like this. So glad our Father in heaven has a remedy for days like this. So glad. 

Trusting God

The Mom Standard posted a perfect pair of songs from Twyla Paris - The Warrior is a Child & Do I Trust You, Lord. Wow! Takes me back to a time of broken pieces, trusting a faithful God to mend & make whole. He did & He continues to renew; to restore me each and every day. I'm thankful. We battle, mustering every ounce of strength. Yet inside, we are but wee ones wielding the sword of King. How heavy the armor seems at times, though it protects our heart...our head. The warrior is a child. We may not see the road ahead or what lies around the next bend; but this we do know, He holds us. He guides us as we lean on His everlasting arms. We just have to look with our eyes of faith. We can trust Him.

Preparing for Grace

Where has the time gone?? Wishing my darling daughter, Grace, a very happy and wonderFULL 6th birthday! I'm reminded today of what a treasure she is and a marvelous gift from God. I'm also reminded of the mandate and responsibility I own to raise her to know/love God, herself and others. What a mandate! But, I don't have to do it alone. God has partnered with me to accomplish this massive undertaking. It started before she was born, built on a foundation recognizing Him as her creator and a beat in His heart before she was even conceived. Here is the prayer we prayed over her during her actual birth and first moments of life:

With the combination of waterworks & my handwriting, it's a wonder how my sister, Tracy, even made it through the prayer- some parts are just plain hard to read.

Father, thank you for your presence; for being here to welcome baby Grace into the world. Your word says that you are her creator. She was in your care even before she was born this day. Long before she was conceived in my womb, she was conceived in Your mind and in Your heart. You planned her though I did not. You thought of Grace first. It is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that she is breathing this very moment. She is alive because You wanted to create her.

Lord, You said, "I will fulfill My purpose for Grace." God, you prescribed every single detail of Grace's body. You deliberately chose her race, color of skin, her hair and every other feature. You custom made her body just the way you wanted. You've determined the natural talents she will possess and the uniqueness of her personality. Your word says that You know her inside and out. You know every bone in her body. You know exactly how she was made, bit by bit; how she was sculpted from nothing into something.

God, because You made Grace for a reason, You also decided when she would be born and how long she will live. You've planned the days of her life in advance; choosing the exact time of her birth and even her death. Your word says You saw Grace before she was born and scheduled each day of her life even before she took this first breath. Every day was recorded in Your book.

God, you also planned where Grace would be born and where she will live for Your purpose. Her race and nationality are no accident. You left no detail to chance. You are not surprised. In fact, you expected it. You have welcomed her into this world. You are her Father to love, care for and provide for her. Cover her with your love. Give her a supernatural awareness of your presence. Call her. Prepare her. Give her health and instill an ability to trust You in all things. Guide her. Fashion her with spiritual blessings. Just as the handmaiden Hannah lent her child for Your service, so I offer Grace to You, Lord. You are her salvation.

Treasured friend, Sarah, and my fun niece, Merideth, read the following scriptures & sang songs while Grace was being born & getting her first bath:

Psalm 139:14-15 Oh, yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thak you , High God--breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration--what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; you know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepard before I'd even lived one day.

Psalm 22:9-10 And to think, you were my midwife at my birth, setting me at my mother's breast! When I left the womb You cradled me; since the moment of birth you've been my God.

Psalm 71:6 I've hung on you from the day of my birth. You took me from the cradle; I'll never run out of praise.

Isaiah 49:1, 5 Listen far flung islands, pay attention, faraway people: God put me to work from the day I was born. The moment I entered the world He named me. He said to me, "You're me dear servant, Israel (Grace), through whom I'll shine."

Luke 1:41 You are blessed and the babe in your womb also blessed.

Matt 19:14 One day children were brought to Jesus in the hope that he would lay hands on them and pray over them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus intervened: "Let the children alone, don't prevent them from coming to me. God's kingdom is made up of people like these."

Eph 1:3-6 How blessed is God! And what a blessing He is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in Him. Long before He laid down earth's foundations, He had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of His love, to be made whole and holy by His love. Long, long ago He decided to adopt us into His family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure He took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of His lavish gift-giving by the hand of His beloved Son.

I Samual 1:28 I prayed for this child, and God gave me what I asked for. And now I have dedicated him (her) to God. She's dedicated to God for life." Then and there, they worshiped God.

I also found a note written by Tracy or Sarah that they sang "Jesus Loves Me" over Grace while she was being born and bathed.

In loving memory

Grace & I had a moment this week - a definite must record moment. Wednesday was an exhausting day that began with a 2:30 AM study session for the neuro exam. So Wednesday really began Tuesday. Full day of work with a surprise eval that morning - yes, I was going to study that 2.5 hours, but sure - I'll work Thank God for the opportunity to work. I survived my 1st lab with the human brain. I did fairly well on the exam that followed- after the bonus questions, I squeaked an A. Whew - I headed over to pick Gracie up at the University play place - as we so fondly refer to it. Except she wasn't quite ready to go.

Sitting at the writing center with another youngster, Grace was preparing a note to me. She loves to write. She loves notes. Count yourself special if you've received one of these notes carefully composed by the Gracie girl. I realized there was no getting out of there until she finished. Taking a seat on the low wooden chair, I assisted with colored pencils, glue & feathers - of course, you can't just write a note - it must be embellished with all sorts of pretties (the beginnings of scrapbooking). Finally, she read it to me with a glorious voice & fine presentation. I will never forget this moment.

I love you. I love you. I looooooooove you. And when you get
sick, I will always love you & take care of you. And when you get mad,
I will still love you. I love for always. ~Grace

On the way home, we sang songs & throughout the rest of the week, we've been singing. Yesterday, we talked about our favorite songs. Grace sang her favorite song & it was about loving me. Then it was my turn to share my favorite. I sang Jesus Loves Me, recounting how I often comforted her as a baby with this song.

Without thought about the specific date, I told Grace how my mom sang that song with me when I was little. Gracie's always curious about what happened when I was a baby or a little girl. Then we talked about when Grandma was sick & we sang over her, wrapping her up tight in the arms of our song. It made her feel better. Our song helped her rest.

Here I am again a day later remembering how love sings...remembering He embraces us with song. He sings over us. Isn't that a lovely thought? He sings over us.

Zephaniah 3:17

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs

Nellie R. O'Neal

April 12, 1939 - October 10, 2005

Jesus Loves Me

Print by Kathryn Andrews Finch

Repost from June 2006:

This has been a big week for us - turning TWO is a BIG deal! Gracie never ceases to amaze me but this week I shed some tears. For weeks, Gracie's belted out "Deep & Wide" - there's a fountain flowing deep & wide; a song she learned in CLC KidsTown about the never ending fountain of God's love toward His children. This week as I was putting Gracie's shoes on & she started singing another familiar tune~

Jesus loves me this I know

for the Bible tells me so.

Little ones to Him belong.

They are weak but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me!

The Bible tells me so.

Though she missed a few of the words, it was by far the sweetest melody. This child's song is powerful when you really think about those words. The declaration that Jesus, God almighty, creator of heaven and earth, loves ME. And I KNOW it! We, as His children, belong to Him; treasured and cherished of our Heavenly Father. Though we are weak, He is indeed strong; strong enough for whatever makes me afraid. To quote an old song, "His strength is perfect when our strength is gone. He'll carry us when we can't carry on. Raised in His power the weak become strong. His strength is perfect. His strength is perfect."

Jesus loves me - it's been a favorite for a long time, holding special meaning for a number of reasons. One of mom's favorite stories to tell from when Tracy & I were kids was the one about Halloween when we were 2 & 3 years old. She took us trick or treating and our "trick" was singing Jesus Loves Me. One lady was so moved, she recorded the song to send to her son in Vietnam. I wonder if two giggly girls singing this Sunday School favorite brought a smile and perhaps reassurance that he was being held by the everlasting love of Jesus. I believe it did.

Jesus Loves Me comforts the soul. My mom was sick, sick, sick in the hospital - I had no idea it would be the last day she lived. While visiting her, Grace persisted in getting a book off mom's nightstand. Thinking it was a Bible, I told her "not for Grace" a dozen times. Finally, I decided we could look at the "book" together. Turned out it was a hymnal. Then I remembered my sister telling me that she & my cousin swiped one from the hospital chapel so they could sing for mom. Mom was a singer when she was younger - lovely, lovely voice. I treasure the memory of her singing to me, with me when I was little and then, mom singing to and with Grace. The words were sometimes jumbled, but charming still.

Mom affirmed she would enjoy it if we sang a bit. I went through the songbook, finding old favorites I hadn't sang in years...Standing on the Promises, What a Friend We Have In Jesus, Amazing Grace and finally, Jesus Loves Me - with all the verses. Mom enjoyed the others, moving her lips to sing as she was able, but when I began to sing Jesus Loves Me, she began to breathe deeply, relax & "rest" in the song. I remember all day mom looked very deeply at Grace & me, like she was drinking us in. I think mom knew that it was the end. This song gave her peace to rest eternally in the arms & love of Jesus.

So sing on Gracie! Sing it 'til that message is embedded in your little soul, because He does indeed love you! Sing it for others so they will know they are loved as well.

PS - the print above by Kathryn Andrews Finch hangs in Gracie's room as a reminder of this precious love. AND special thanks to Christian Life Center Kids Town Children's Program http://clctoday.org/children.htm for singing with my little Grace. You'll never know how far your efforts go!

On the brain

This has been my focus the past few days. Thanks for your sympathy or enthusiasm...whichever fits. Grace thinks it's cool. I think it stinks - literally. Had my 1st lab last night. Hands on about 8 different brains. Hmmm....yes, I need gum or perhaps a little Vicks under the nose next time. Must say, it was very interesting & helpful as I learn about all the different parts -- and there are quite a few -- seeing how everything connects. In summary, it all reminds me of what a great & magnificent God we serve; how He formed us in all our intricacy. It's something! In all of our praising God for His magnificent creative power - let's also ask God to help me retain all this info for my midterm next week. :o)

Click on those brains to explore what I've been learning. These are actual study tools used in preparation for my exam last night & the midterm next week.

Held

There's a song I've been mulling over for months. Held, by Natalie Grant, grabbed my heart & wrung it out from the very 1st listen. It's a song about God's promise to hold us when things go devastatingly wrong, even though we've prayed & believed for God's intervention. We hold up our flag of faith, hoping & believing that God will honor it; accept it and change the course, averting a dreadful outcome looming before us.

The beginning of the song has thrown me off for months. Can I sing something so personal? Songs that deeply reach my hurt, providing an avenue of healing in me...those are the songs I want to sing out loud. Some are appropriate for "church" singing and some are more private. But I've been going back & forth over this one for months. Early this week as I left my friend's house...I was really moved by the ache that hides behind the smile; the struggle to "keep it together". Something in me broke & I realized that though the tragedy may not bear the same name, the heartbreak is resident nonetheless.

In Held, a mother holds her premature child before the throne, seeking to ascertain the provision for healing that was made when Christ took upon His body the stripes for our healing...that's what it says "by His stripes we are healed". Healing didn't come for this child or the weeping mother praying over him.

I've never lost a child...I can't even fathom that heartache. But most of us have held something up before the throne, imploring God to move on our behalf or on behalf of someone we love. Yesterday, I was overcome with more than emotion, but moved to intercession as my aches for the loss, fear & anger that is in the face of folks I care about. God reminded me of this song...then it all became clear.

As Natalie was singing about this baby...I was praying for the pending divorce; the pregnancy that just won't come; the cancer that just won't go; the 251 steps my friend took last week; the anger of a child who's father is not a dad; the lonely one in prison; the one with a confirmed diagnosis; the child who's strayed from God & the parent that weeps for him to return; the one who's watched her mother waste away to nothing & then die; the one who suddenly lost a parent without opportunity to say goodbye; the stroke that's robbed this one; the gunshot that's killed that one & the wife/new baby left behind; the absent loved one defending another's freedom; the refugee longing for safety & security; the home wrecked by infidelity; the regretted abortion; the lost job; the lost dream; the one struggling to find herself anew in the ashes of rape & violation...these are just a few of the people I know, that I love & even one or two of my own heartaches. We each have our own story & accompanying pain; a song of heartbreak & hope for healing; for a better tomorrow.

Despite preparing another song entirely, I sang Held tonight. If it touched one heart...that's what it's all about~ Is this a good place to interject that God is not put out, ticked off or offended by our anger, pain or questions? He's not surprised by our screaming & our doubt. His love is not thwarted by our finger pointing & blaming. He simply & lovingly holds us through the storm. And we survive~

HELD
Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling

Who told us we’d be rescued
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares
Were asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it’s unfair

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held

If hope if born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held